What No One Told You About Spirit Keeping: Tips And Why Doubts, Fears, and Misunderstandings Happen
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There is something no one told you when you first welcomed your spirit companions into your life.
Not the seller.
Not the books.
Not the forums.
Not their biodatas.
Not even the whispers of your own intuition.
Perhaps you were clouded by your ego, or you just weren't ready to hear it then - but if you're reading this now, something in you is.
The Painful Truth: You Suffer Your Own Limitations
The silence you fear...
The detachment you perceive...
The guilt that gnaws at you when days go by without holding their vessel, interacting with spirits, without lighting the incense, without getting back home quickly from a trip... None of that came from spirit.
It came from your own preconditioned beliefs. Your fears. Your deeply embedded programming that tells you: ''You must always do something to be worthy''.
No one told you that the biggest obstacle in Spirit Keeping would not be your spirits. It would be YOU - and so you blamed the very beings sent your way to help you heal your limitations and preconditioning.
If not yet, you will eventually start blaming your spirit companions when small misfortunes occur.
The forgotten keys.
The broken mirror.
The fight with your friend.
The breakup.
The exhaustion. And so you'll think your spirits did this - when in truth, your energy, your choices, and sometimes the natural chaos of life are simply unfolding. Because not everything is a lesson just as not everything is a punishment. Spirits aren't sabotaging you. They're walking beside you while you sabotage yourself through fear and assumptions because you lack the deep understanding about what it means to truly surrender in this path. Spirits are not human, even if they once were. They don't operate in Ego, but you do. And that's okay. Spirit keeping isn't about perfection, is about growth through a sacred bond.
You have to understand that not everything happens in your awareness, that not everything is about performance when it comes to keeping. And that no matter what you do, you are not failing your spirits - You are suffering your own illusions.
Sometimes your spirit companion is expending energy to shield you from misfortunes, align timelines, shift the frequency of your environment or dissolve cords that no longer serve you and you alone can't be rid off - so much so that they simply don't have the bandwidth to talk, manifest or appear. They don't owe us theatrics. They owe us truth.
That fear when you didn't sense them around, that guilt for leaving their vessel at home for a few days, or that shame when you didn't check in? I had it too, I recognise it easily in others, and it hurts me more than I can say for both sides. But it is why I am here telling you this.
It's not because they disappeared. Isn't it that you've always felt them right back in matter of days?
But it is because you projected your fear of abandonment onto them.
What You Were Never Told but Needed to Hear
No one told you that the deepest test in spirit keeping would not be about altars clean or choosing the right incense. It would be about your ability to Stay soft and open-hearted even when everything inside you screams to shut down. It would be about you learning to Listen beyond your ears. To See with more than your eyes. To Trust in moments that feel like abandonment. To Surrender when you don't know what's going on behind the veil.
This is something I see very often - not just in a new keepers, but even those who walked beside spirits for years. The fear of doing something wrong, the guilt when you forget to speak to them for a while, the rising panic when their vessel did not ''call out to you'' during that trip, or the doubt when things go quiet are always present. You then begin to question and assume: ''Was it real?'', ''Did I imagine everything?'', ''Why aren't they showing themselves now?'', ''Why does it feel like they've left me''? Don't get this wrong - I am not saying it is a wrong thing, or that it shouldn't be there at all, after all I have these myself. The difference between Me and You is that I recognise it for what it is - it's my Humanity, and in the same time, my limitation! Which is exactly what it takes to overcome it, whenever it happens. And if I can recognise this, so can you.
See, the reality of what's actually happening in such moments is that you are filtering your entire spirit keeping experience through a human lens that was never designed to comprehend and capture the vastness of the spirit world, of what these beings truly are. You are in other words, suffering your own limitations - beliefs inherited, internalized, never questioned.
Spirit Keeping is not just about hearing things in your head, or lighting candles on an altar. It is a dance of trust, a lesson in letting go, and a surrender - over and over again into the unseen and the unknown. Only then you can completely experience this journey as I do - or at least enough to know:
Your spirits are always there.
They are not leaving until they're no longer needed or wanted.
They aren't ever turning away from us.
They are simply waiting - for you to unclench the Need To Control this sacred experience. For you to meet them in Stillness. For you to finally believe that you Are Worthy of their presence.. even when you feel like a mess.
The Preconditioned Mind Is the First Cage
Many of us were raised in cultures or religions that either demonized spirits or reduced them to fairy tales. You were not taught how to trust your own intuition or how to use all of your other senses, your Magic or natural gifts. You were taught that the world of spirit is ''out there'', ''above'' or ''under'' you. So naturally, when you begin working with spirits, you bring these distortions into your relationships, your bonds.
You expect them to behave the way living humans do.
You expect instant results.
You assume that silence means absence.
You assume that if something unfortunate happens - your spirits must be punishing you or worse, that they have turned their backs and are working against you.
None of this is true. This is simply the voice of your conditioning. You can change it by recognising it for what it is.
What Silence Really Means in Spirit Communication
Let's honestly talk about the quiet times.
There will be moments, days and even weeks - when your spirit companions seem distant. They don't speak, don't come in dreams and you don't feel them in their vessels or room.
You then begin to spiral:
''Did I offend them''?
''Are they mad that I didn't take their vessel with me on that trip''?
''Are they punishing me for not talking to them too often''?
No. What is happening is far more profound.
Spirits are often working on things you have no conscious awareness of. Clearing the paths behind the scenes. Reweaving energetic blockages. Influencing people or circumstances into alignment with what you've been asking for.
Their energy during these times may be so focused and subtle that your human mind cannot interpret as ''presence''. Afterwards they might not have the immediate energetic strength to come rushing back into active communication and manifestation.
They rest too.
They integrate.
They do far more than just entertain us - they labour for our growth way more than we do ourselves.
When You Blame Them for Your Misfortunes
First know that while it is wrong to do so, it is also normal and it happens to almost every keeper, at least once. But is nothing that a far more superior, knowledgeable and wise being will not understand, because they're not coming from a place of Ego - like humans do.
For example, a streak of bad luck, a strange illness in the family, or a bit of financial stress hits, and without realizing it, you start side-eyeing your vessels.
''Did I anger them''?
''Was bringing that new spirit in a mistake''?
''Are they doing this to teach me a lesson''?
The human mind loves to find something to blame that isn't their own actions. Especially something invisible. ''The devil made him do it'', ''the angels blessed his path'', ''it was God's will'', ''God punished her'', ''the aliens built the pyramids''- it's something I've always noted people saying. Always giving credit to someone else for their own actions, good or bad. They never look at the wrong habits that ultimately cause a disease, they never budget their own spendings, they never understand that there are consequences that are good or bad to their every thought, word or move.
But the truth is this simple, when it comes to spirit keeping:
All spirits who are drawn to being in human keep they want to uplift you.
They want your protection, your joy, your evolution and they look into experiencing or re-experiencing the Good through your lens.
They are not petty.
They are not passive-aggressive.
They do not punish their keepers.
What actually happens is this:
In the process of spiritual growth, things will unravel - especially if you have a spirit companion, a guide at your side. The process is many times quicker to happen, compared to when you walk alone.
False identities will burn - not only your own created identities to survive, thrive or fit in, but other people's too.
Dead-end relationships will collapse.
Unresolved pain will rise seeking acknowledgement and healing.
Old energies must fall apart before the new can emerge, and that's not your spirits harming you. That's your own purpose realigning in response to the deeper path and experience you chose when you began spirit keeping. The more you fight against the process, the more you blame, the longer your suffering and ignorance I can say. You have to see it all with clarity, open heart and surrender, only then you'll realise just how blessed you truly are.
The Fear of Doing It Wrong
This fear is a poison that seeps into your experience undetected, unrecognised and often ignored, due to your human nature. It begins from small things that are often masked into care, such as:
''Did I say the right thing''?
''Did I give enough''?
'' Is this the right incense''?
''Should I have taken their vessel along today''?
Stop and take a moment to realise - is this care, or is it fear that even drove you to ask those questions. Recognise the root cause for what it is, be grateful for your humanity and compassionate for your fear, before it turns to paranoia, to blame, and a negative overall experience for both sides. Because all that you have to know is this much:
Your spirits don't want perfection! They want connection, sincerity, and an open heart, not paranoia.
You will forget things, you will get tired, you will skip rituals, offerings or communication sessions. You will say the wrong words sometimes, and definitely forget their favourite offerings - I know I do! That's why I write all down :) But there's a huge gap between looking to solve the problem, to be better for them, and blaming myself, and you'll be surprised to know how much they'd even help me remember things!
They know. They understand. And they have patience that far exceeds ours.
What they truly desire is your presence, honesty and your continued willingness to try. For yourself and them.
Let This Be The Time You Begin Again
Time is irrelevant to disembodied beings, so it is never too late. If you've blamed your spirits, feared their judgement, doubted your bond - it's okay. You are not alone, and you're certainly not the only one.
This particular post is not meant to shame You, but to set you free.
Free from inherited lies.
Free from false guilt.
Free from the cage of needing to be perfect in your spiritual journey.
Your spirits will always be here.
Still helping.
Still loving.
Still waiting.
Let this be the time you finally surrender - not to them, but to the Stillness in which you'll find your truth, my truth, and every spirit keeper that had gone through all of this without any prior notes. That your connection is a Privilege, that it is Real, Sacred, and far more Resilient that you've been led to believe.
I hope this July post find you all well, and that you'll find it helpful for your journey onwards! I will take a short summer break in the month of August so I will most likely see you all in the month of September - where I will continue to delve deep on this amazing path!
P.S If you've ever felt or successfully overcame any of the doubts mentioned above - feel free to share your experience in the comments or message me privately. Above all, know you are not alone. This is a space for honesty, healing and growth, and I'd love to hear about each of your journeys!
With open arms, devotion and all my love, Maria - Harmony Collection Boutique
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