The Ethics of Spirit Keeping : Consent, Free Will & Boundaries in the Spirit Realm

 What Kind of Spirit Keeper Are You Becoming?

Spirit Keeping has become increasingly popular in the recent years. From haunted object collectors to metaphysical practitioners welcoming spirits who are to become family and allies into their homes, many are exploring the unseen world in personal, powerful ways. But as the veil thins and interest grows, one key conversation is often left out: Ethics.

It's easy to get caught up in the thrill - the allure of rare entities, the promise of power, protection, or companionship. But beneath this glamour lies a deeper responsibility. Spirit keeping isn't just about adoptions, offerings or rituals. At its core it's about the bond, the Relationships we make with Spirit. And like any relationship, it must be built on Respect, Mutual Understanding, and Consent.

So ask yourself honestly, What kind of spirit keeper are you becoming? What kind of spirit keeper do you want to be? Do you listen? Do you ask? Do you treat your spirit companions like sentient beings or like tools?

In this May's issue, let's explore what it truly means to walk the Ethical path in spirit work.

What is Consent in Spirit Work?

Just as we honour consent in our human interaction by word of Law or common sense, we MUST extend the same respect to spirits. These beings - whether they're humans, ancestors, elementals or other entities, have autonomy, preferences and free will. Consent isn't just a human concept, it is a universal principle of energetic integrity. Take for example a Flower in our earthly realm. If its seed isn't Willing - to life, itself - a flower will not come to exist, isn't it so? Of course there are different known and unknown layers of consent available for each life form out there, but the same rules apply when it comes to a spiritual being.

Now in ideal scenarios, spirit chose or is willing to be with us. They respond to our energy, feel resonance, and initiate or agree a connection. But don't forget, from there to actually working with us on our goals, there is another step in which consent is a must as well. You should also know that some spirits are bound by practitioners, conjurers or sellers without their agreement, especially in cases of forced servitude, ancestral entrapment or even from exploitative magical practices.

In this case, your first Ethical Duty is not only to ensure that there is a connection you've actually made with the spirit you look into adopting and confirm that by any possible means, but also to be mindful of whom you're adopting from, and by all means avoid conjurers if possible. Why I kept saying this is because there are sadly too many cases where spirits are bound to a vessel without their consent, and this can be sad, but above all dangerous. In my case, I have adopted my personal collection and spirit family from the most ethical sources I came across, personally met and trust, and they are maybe 6-7 total people I've brought spirits home from. Of course this excludes my grandmother´s collection, the large haunted family I have inherited upon her physical death, as you probably know.

How is consent communicated?

Is good to know that consent is rarely verbal, it is often energetic or intuitive. But I will share some common ways, so that you get an idea:

Energy resonance  -You feel drawn, warm or ''clicked'' when you think of, or interact with the spirit's vessel or photo.

Dreams and visions - They may approach you in there, showing willingness or reluctance.

Divination - Tools like pendulums, tarots, dowsing or scrying can help clarify a spirit's desire.

Feelings of ease or resistance - If you feel anxious, overly concerned or fearful, it may ne a clear ''no'' from spirit, but if you feel empowered, positive or just at ease, in total comfort, then it is a ''yes'' for sure.

Spiritual Guidance - last but no least important way of knowing, one that I personally have always used and I encourage those of you who already have one or more spirits in your keep to at least give this a try - is to ask the opinion of your spirit guides when it comes to new additions. Often the very members of our spirit families are the ones behind a successful adoption, either through just their advice, or their full support and guidance towards another yet perfect match!

Needless to say, from my own experience not only as a Medium but a keeper myself, I have learned a simple but valid truth when it comes to adoptions. And that is, if it is not a ''yes'' that's felt in the deepest core of your being, most likely it is a ''no''.

And another thing to consider when adopting, especially when it comes to conjurer sellers, is that if you didn't do the bindings yourself, don't assume Consent. Take all the time you need to check in energetically and confirm spirit wants to come with you, connect, meditate and ask - this practical, ethical stand you take at the beginning will bring you so very far in your spirit keeping journey, trust me.

Free Will: Spirits Are Not Tools

One of the most damaging misconceptions in spirit keeping is the idea that all spirits exist to serve us. This mindset turns sacred allies into mere objects - draining their essence, dismissing their voices and violating their purpose. People should understand that each spirit is different, not only behaviour and abilities wise but also in purpose. Some come just as healers, some come as only guides, and some come ready to take on the world with us! But their autonomy, willingness to assist us, as well as their particular moods on a day or other should be respected and taken into consideration before each task.

Besides and as an example, not all spirits work with us, or even have the experience to use their powers into serving our causes because this Highly depends and I repeat, it Highly Depends on how and whom you get them from. Perhaps their previous keeper was a conjurer who forcefully bound a spirit to a vessel and had them live their days in servitude, before they got to you. Or perhaps they had a keeper who only ever enjoyed their company. There are many psychic-mediums I know that live with spirit in this way ONLY. 

Then again, it is important to know where you bring your spirits home from, check and again check!

For example, all of the spirits in my keep with some exceptions like rescues, were adopted from Medium-Witches who actually work with people on a daily basis, involving the favours of the souls once in their keep. This includes my own grandmother Irina and myself. Therefore my spirit family is one used to work with humans, assist us in our goals and watch over us in ways that other spirits may not, even if they do hold immense powers. 

Based on this I want to emphasise that Spirits are not:

.Wish machines

.Energy batteries

.Tools for manifestation

.Emotional dump bins  - not unless they themselves state otherwise.

And when they get treated as such, without regard, spirits may withdraw, become silent, or even act out.

I've seen chaos erupt in many homes where spirits were treated as subordinates rather than family and allies, and then either their previous keeper was accused of ''selling demons'' or the spirits themselves were wrongfully categorised as such, when in fact these people had no idea of what is like to even live with one such soul or never encountered one in their lifetime.

True spirit work is co-creative. You work with them not through rigid commands but through communion.

Boundaries Go Both Ways

Respect is a two-way street, and as part of your ethical spirit keeping practice, you should also make yourself respected by spirit, and don't expect every soul to understand they have to give that to you automatically - especially in cases of entity adoptions where these beings have little to no intelligence in the way humans or human souls perceive it. So just as spirits, you also deserve peace, rest and personal space.

And it is good to know that some spirits - especially those who are active, overly enthusiastic or that come from different, even chaotic realms, may overstep unintentionally or unknowingly. You may experience:

.Insomnia due to high night-time activity

.Over-clinginess or energetic overwhelm

.Clear invasions of personal space, in inappropriate timings  -for example.

It is your duty and your right to set boundaries. In fact, it is essential, and I recommend you begin to do it as soon as you have adopted a companion.

Some ways to set respectful boundaries are:

Create a sacred space: Designate a specific area for their vessels, offerings and communication. You don't have to dedicate your spirits an entire room, unless you prefer this and have the space to do so. But a small dedicated area around your place, where you place all of your spirits vessels and a space where you gift them offerings will go a long way!

Establish ritual times: Let your spirits know when you're available to commune with them, and when you're not. If you are not sure yourself, set it to once a week or a month and make that a priority. If you're very chatty yourself, you can update them on a daily basis on the best times. This way not only they will know when Not to bother you, but also feel involved, cared for.

Verbal-spoken contracts: Some would argue that the best time for this will be upon their arrival, but I suggest you don't be so rigid, so hard on yourself and on spirit. You can keep adding rules along the way, as you go. But these verbal contracts must consist with house rules, and you may in there mention the things they can and cannot do - such as coming in when you shower if this is an issue for you, or places they can explore and places they can't, for instance.

What Happens When you Violate a Spirit's Autonomy?

Energetic backlash: Headaches, emotional dissonance, chaotic thoughts or actions due to increased irritation, emotional or mental exhaustion are some of the most common things that will happen when you violate and abuse a spirit's autonomy and free will. 

Loss of trust: They may stop communicating or withdraw their presence.

Mischief or aggression: Especially common with strong willed spirits, high ranking chaotic souls, trickster spirits or those who feel trapped.

Spiritual departure: Spirits can disconnect from their vessels and leave even if they risk their existence in doing so, even if they can't get into another vessel in time, to be able to remain Earth bound. And in some rare cases where you did not know their background stories enough, but turns out the spirit was forcefully bound, spirits may seek release through their very adopters.

So bottom line, disrespecting a spirit, violating their autonomy or abusing their powers is not only unethical - it completely destabilizes your practice and invites imbalance. It is why it is so important to adopt from ethical sellers, to make sure there is a genuine connection between you and spirit, and as you go in your journey with them, to set boundaries but also make sure there is actual consent, with each step of the way. In my case, I personally have opened my door to more spirits of the same kind, in order to prevent abusing my spirits energies, and to allow each to rest and take turns in helping. This is a personal preference, and you certainly don't have to do the same. But if you are a spiritual practitioner and are working alongside spirits for people - is it my best recommendation!

Rebuilding Trust and Working Ethically

If you've made mistakes in the past or present, don't panic. Like us humans, spirits value honesty and effort. You can rebuild trust with integrity.

Steps to restore harmony:

Apologize: Sincerely and out loud. Own your actions and show humility as soon as you know or were told you've done wrong by them.

Cleanse the vessel: Use incense, moonlight or blessed water, place salt and herbs around the vessel, to energetically reset the space. Doing this further emphasizes your intention of honouring them, and if they chose so, they'll use these to help their energies to be restored, so they can move on quicker from it. 

Offer autonomy: In some rarer, grave cases, you may let them choose if they still want to remain with you. If they want to leave, honour their wish by making sure they'll get a worthy adopter, and keep them respectfully meanwhile.

Give thoughtful offerings: Not just incense or trinkets, offer an ambiance, music, poetry, time out and about with you. Heartfelt connections are most appreciated when it comes to apology offerings for spirits.

Check in regularly: Now, you don't need to be all paranoid about it if you get what I mean, but ask them how are they feeling - at least in the first few days. Create a two-way dialogue, as this will help you get an even deeper insight into their personality, and into their love for you.

I can't say this enough, treat your spirits like family, housemates or allies - not possessions. This shift in mindset opens the path to the deepest, most magical partnerships you'll ever have.

Trust is The Highest Magic here, and nothing else works best.

In a world that teaches us control, spirit work teaches us to let go, it teaches us to Listen.

And to keep spirits ethically is to stand in alignment with the Universe. To honour consent. To welcome collaboration. To understand that you are not the master of these beings, you are the keeper of a sacred bond - and that is a true Privilege.

Raise your standards. Ask the questions. Listen more deeply. Control less.

Because at the end of the day, trust is the most powerful form of magic you will ever wield when it comes to spirit keeping.

Well, that's all for today, and I will be back next month with another interesting subject to discuss.

I do hope this May's post resonated with you. And if so, feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

As always, thank you for coming by, and I wish you a pleasant day and journey ahead!

All my love, Maria, Harmony Collection Boutique